To help all younger parents decide which is the best choice for them, please give us your opinion of what you choose and why.
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We have all had those moments when we wished we could hear useful information on what other people did in their parenting issues.
Come help our parenting community by leaving your comments below so the next parenting questioning this issue will have some very practical and useful examples of what works, what does, what might happen, what to expect, etc.
Click here if you are trying to decide if you should Cirucumcise or not.
The Chore Wars: those constant battles of trying to get your children to do chores and yet keeping peace in the house? Is it possible to have both?
You work hard all day and then come home to a dirty house and your child is sitting in front of the t.v. They say, ‘hey, I’ve been to school all day. Really, and you think I have been sitting in my office all day eating bonbon?
Or you are a stay-at-home mom, and your kids don’t think you work hard so you should clean up. They shouldn’t have to do chores. Really, because you haven’t spent all day just scrubbing floors, or bathrooms, cooking dinners, grocery shopping, changing diapers, running after little ones ensuring they are not touching things they should. Or for the older children driving them here, there and everywhere. Right? You do nothing but sit at home watching Netflix and eating bonbons.
And so, it begins. Miscommunication is innate in every family. Children thinking you are asking too much of them and that you don’t do much at all in your day.
You are frustrated with your children because all you have asked them to do is clean their room. Or pick up their own dishes or put the shoes and backpack away when they get home. These simple little chores seem so hard to teach them and it causes tension and daily fighting in the home. Making it so you dread leaving work.
Is there a better way?
Can you calm the chaos that comes into the home when you ask your kids to do a chore?
How do you get your kids to do chores?
Should you pay for Chores done, and why or why not?
As a certified family coach, I am often asked “what can I do to be a better parent?”
Although I believe there are 3 main elements that can ‘help’ you be a better parent, the bigger issue that needs to be addressed here is: ‘better than what? Better than your parents were to you? Better than the parents next door? Better than the newest parenting style? Better than your recent self?
Comparisons only tear people down and puts our energy into the wrong things. Here is an example. I didn’t want to be a parent who yelled because I grew up with one who yelled quite a bit. As a child that made me very uncomfortable. I wasted my energy trying not to yell instead of using that energy trying to calmly figure out ‘what’ the cause of my frustration might be and coming up with a better solution. Instead of comparing your parenting skills to anyone else or comparing to a parenting style, just be the best parent you can be each day.
There is not doubt that we can always improve but considering the fact that you are reading articles like this one or trying to continually work on your parenting skills are already proof that you are on the road to being a ‘better’ parent. These kinds of activities show your level of commitment to your relationship with your children, therefore establishing your dedication to them and your parenting role.
The simple rule of parenting is this: take the time to figure out your goals for your parenting journey and spend your energy on making those goals your priority. Don’t stress and waste time trying to be better than someone else. Instead focus on your children and what they need. Next month we will begin a 3-part series on the 3 main elements that will help you be able to focus on your child needs. This will ultimately make you a ‘better parent’ as you will be spending your energy on your relationship with them instead of what the world thinks of you.
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You grab a bat, head to home plate, place your feet exactly where they need to be, practice swinging a couple of times to warm up and expect to hit the ball. You anticipate hitting a home run but when you don’t even get a ground ball, you wonder what went wrong. It looks so easy.
The same is true about parenting. You think you will do great and like the rest of us you start by thinking ‘Parenting isn’t that hard, right’? But then your child starts to cry for no reason at all, or you see a hurt look in their eye from something you said, or you get a call from the school asking you to come and pick up your kid. You start realizing you’re not as good as you thought you would be, and you feel like a failure.
True failure is when you don’t learn from your mistakes and just keep doing the same things the wrong way all the time. Just like in sports, you will need to ‘practice’ and miss a few balls before you will learn to start hitting a home run.
As we all learn from our mistakes more than we learn from our success I want to encourage you to not get give up. Instead, keep trying your best, get advice from experts, talk to other parenting friends, swap ideas, read articles or go for coaching. You are not alone in this, it is universal and one day you will look back and say, ‘phew, that was tough, but it was so worth it’.
Stay tuned over the next couple of months as I will be sharing the top 3 things, I think parents need to do to have success in their parenting journey. Come check us out at parentwithpurpose.ca for tips and family coaching. Lynda Harlos Certified Family Coach, vlogger and author
Do you like metaphors, Well I think parenting is like baseball.
You can’t seem to get your children to pick up their clothes, put dishes away, close the door when they go outside? Not things that will change who they are as a person, but habits that will make life more pleasant in your home. Is there a way to do this? And how much work will it take on your part? If you have failed in helping them have great habits so far, what are you doing wrong?
Watch and learn the little trips that Shiri has imparted to us, which will help us, help our children learn how to create good habits. The benefit to this is that you can start using this tool for yourself as well to teach yourself good habits.
Teaching a child how to change a habit is not the same thing as teaching a child how to do household chores.
Click here for the video on how to establish a good networking family, where we are all helping out with household chores. Learn how to pick which ones to start with and how to be successful in getting those chores done.
It is time to debunk the myths about human trafficking and realize what it really is.
My daughters’ story, heart wrenching but true. If you think this doesn’t happen to normal, suburban, faith-based families, you are wrong.
Let’s take control back from those that would like to do nothing more than making money off of our children and potentially destroy their lives. How do we do that, but educating ourselves on what Human trafficking really is? Did you know that the majority of Human trafficking happening in our area is involving our own children, living in homes like yours and we don’t even know? Human Trafficking is not typically like that movie ‘Taken’, or like the other movies that show little kids being kidnapped, thrown in a van, confined to a room and sold. It is our sons and daughters being sold a dream and they are quite often involved while still living at home.
Protecting your children is our primary goal as parents. Knowledge can help you do that. I wished I had known before my daughter got caught up in it. But regrets don’t fix anything. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and my daughter is now one of the strongest people I know. If by sharing our experience with you will help save one child from having to go through the same then, then it was at least worth doing this video.
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