Suffocated: The ‘Rest of the Story’

Suffocated: The ‘Rest of the Story’

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Your husband is driving you crazy and you can’t stand it anymore.  You are on the verge of leaving him.  You feel suffocated and he is constantly at you to let him know where you are and what you are doing.  You need space, you need air, you need your independence back.

Your dad won’t stop calling you.  He is always complaining about life in general but complains about things that matter to you most. He assumes you have all the time in the world to help him, take care of him but you still have a family of your own to take care of, house to tend to. Some of his complaints are about how much he wants to die because his life sucks so much.  He has this way of getting under your skin and you just can’t stand the sound of his voice anymore. You feel suffocated some more.

Your child is sent home one more time.  When will this end? Doesn’t the teacher know you have to go to work? Can’t she understand that if you don’t work you won’t have a roof over your head for you and this child?   Frustrated beyond belief with not only the teacher by your child as well.  Life isn’t fair and you thought when you worked this hard you would get some thanks at least, not all this grief.  Why can’t the teacher just do her job right? You feel suffocated yet again.

You went through the tough, backbreaking job of carrying these children, then the pain racking delivery, the long sleepless nights raising them and now you have slaved over the hot stove to prepare this great dinner and still no one will get up to help you clear up the dishes afterward! You know you raised your children better than this but for some reason, they just sit there and don’t even think about helping you. Can anyone help you from being suffocated?

Why can’t they all understand how tough this is.  My children don’t like my new husband, my new husband has no patience with my kids.  He thinks my kids are bad, but his are perfect. My kids think I should have just stayed single but I just couldn’t do it on my own anymore and I love him.  

In my upcoming blogs, I am doing a series called “And now you know…the rest of the story”. One of the major mistakes we make as parents, as human beings, is that we are not seeing the other side of a story.  We tend to only look at our side of it and feel cheated, used, misunderstood.

If you are looking to improve your marriage, your relationships with your children, parents or co-workers, or even yourself for that matter, please stay tuned.  You will learn that there is always more to the story than you thought.

Click here to see one possible way you can help with being overworked

Click here to see how to stop being frustrated

Are Parents to Blame?

Are Parents to Blame?

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I came back from a business trip to hear about how Marco Muzzo killed 3 children and their grandfather in a car accident allegedly due to drunk driving. There is absolutely no doubt this is a tragedy.  My heart goes out to the families that have lost 3 children and a parent all in one day. I cannot even imagine their pain. Are Marco’s parents to blame for this? Or does this solely lay on the shoulders of Marco for getting behind that wheel while intoxicated?

Trying to find a reason for such a tragedy is human nature but I don’t think stooping to insulting the parents of the drunk driver is the way to do it. Today I saw an article on Facebook about Marco’s mom. It was a video she put together to try and get onto a cooking show. Although she was pretensions and a bit arrogant in the video the facebook audience took this as a way to assume that this explained why Marco was arrogant enough to get behind the wheel of a car while drinking.  The exact quote was” The apple probably didn’t fall far from the tree”.

Here is what I would like to ask. Have you ever had a child do something that you were not proud of?  If so was this your fault?

A lot of what my children do or think is because of how I raised them. However,  quite often some of the things my children have said and/or done I have shaken my head at and wondered why.

Even that is not the issue here though is it?  The issue is that a man started drinking and decided to drive and in doing so killed 4 innocent people. The biggest tragedy of all will be if this man gets away with it. Let’s not make this about anything other than what it is, by pulling others into this that have nothing to do with it. If I was Marco’s parents right now I would be devastated by the pain the other family is going through, knowing it was my child that caused that pain. Instead of hurling stones at Marco’s parents because of something their son did, let’s keep our focus on the real issue.

I speak as a woman who is closely related to someone who killed a young child from drinking and driving.  I know the pain of guilt he lives through every day and I am not saying he deserves their forgiveness, because he didn’t. Here is what I can tell you about this from the other side of the story. The grace those parents showed to this drunk driver is what changed this man’s life forever.

We as the general public do not have the right to put our noses where it doesn’t belong.  It is up to the victim’s families whether or not they decide to show grace.  We need to stop casting stones towards anyone and only concern ourselves with seeing that justice is done legally. If you feel the need to do something then get more involved with M.A.D.D. and help to prevent more of this from happening.

We need to use our energy to help support the parents who are living with this tragedy and ensure we take the time to learn from this and help our family and friends to not get behind a wheel while drinking.   Let the grieving family have their time to deal with this without us causing even more pain and heartache.

Click here to watch another video on people drinking and see if you think this parent is at fault as well.

Click here to see what happens with useless guilt parents carry.