Successful Parenting? Is there such a thing?

Successful Parenting? Is there such a thing?

As a certified family coach, I am often asked “what can I do to be a better parent?”

Although I believe there are 3 main elements that can ‘help’ you be a better parent, the bigger issue that needs to be addressed here is: ‘better than what? Better than your parents were to you? Better than the parents next door? Better than the newest parenting style? Better than your recent self?

Comparisons only tear people down and puts our energy into the wrong things. Here is an example. I didn’t want to be a parent who yelled because I grew up with one who yelled quite a bit. As a child that made me very uncomfortable. I wasted my energy trying not to yell instead of using that energy trying to calmly figure out ‘what’ the cause of my frustration might be and coming up with a better solution. Instead of comparing your parenting skills to anyone else or comparing to a parenting style, just be the best parent you can be each day.

There is not doubt that we can always improve but considering the fact that you are reading articles like this one or trying to continually work on your parenting skills are already proof that you are on the road to being a ‘better’ parent. These kinds of activities show your level of commitment to your relationship with your children, therefore establishing your dedication to them and your parenting role.

The simple rule of parenting is this: take the time to figure out your goals for your parenting journey and spend your energy on making those goals your priority. Don’t stress and waste time trying to be better than someone else. Instead focus on your children and what they need. Next month we will begin a 3-part series on the 3 main elements that will help you be able to focus on your child needs. This will ultimately make you a ‘better parent’ as you will be spending your energy on your relationship with them instead of what the world thinks of you.

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How is Parenting is like Baseball

How is Parenting is like Baseball

You grab a bat, head to home plate, place your feet exactly where they need to be, practice swinging a couple of times to warm up and expect to hit the ball. You anticipate hitting a home run but when you don’t even get a ground ball, you wonder what went wrong. It looks so easy.

The same is true about parenting. You think you will do great and like the rest of us you start by thinking ‘Parenting isn’t that hard, right’? But then your child starts to cry for no reason at all, or you see a hurt look in their eye from something you said, or you get a call from the school asking you to come and pick up your kid. You start realizing you’re not as good as you thought you would be, and you feel like a failure.

True failure is when you don’t learn from your mistakes and just keep doing the same things the wrong way all the time. Just like in sports, you will need to ‘practice’ and miss a few balls before you will learn to start hitting a home run.

As we all learn from our mistakes more than we learn from our success I want to encourage you to not get give up. Instead, keep trying your best, get advice from experts, talk to other parenting friends, swap ideas, read articles or go for coaching. You are not alone in this, it is universal and one day you will look back and say, ‘phew, that was tough, but it was so worth it’.

Stay tuned over the next couple of months as I will be sharing the top 3 things, I think parents need to do to have success in their parenting journey. Come check us out at parentwithpurpose.ca for tips and family coaching. Lynda Harlos Certified Family Coach, vlogger and author

Do you like metaphors, Well I think parenting is like baseball.

Check out other parenting videos on my youtube channel

Breaking Bad Habits

Breaking Bad Habits

You can’t seem to get your children to pick up their clothes, put dishes away, close the door when they go outside?
Not things that will change who they are as a person, but habits that will make life more pleasant in your home.
Is there a way to do this?  And how much work will it take on your part? If you have failed in helping them have great habits so far, what are you doing wrong?

Watch and learn the little trips that Shiri has imparted to us, which will help us, help our children learn how to create good habits. The benefit to this is that you can start using this tool for yourself as well to teach yourself good habits.

Teaching a child how to change a habit is not the same thing as teaching a child how to do household chores.

To see more of Shiri’s helpful advice please check out this link 
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Click here for the video on how to establish a good networking family, where we are all helping out with household chores. Learn how to pick which ones to start with and how to be successful in getting those chores done.