As a certified family coach, I am often asked “what can I do to be a better parent?”
Although I believe there are 3 main elements that can ‘help’ you be a better parent, the bigger issue that needs to be addressed here is: ‘better than what? Better than your parents were to you? Better than the parents next door? Better than the newest parenting style? Better than your recent self?
Comparisons only tear people down and puts our energy into the wrong things. Here is an example. I didn’t want to be a parent who yelled because I grew up with one who yelled quite a bit. As a child that made me very uncomfortable. I wasted my energy trying not to yell instead of using that energy trying to calmly figure out ‘what’ the cause of my frustration might be and coming up with a better solution. Instead of comparing your parenting skills to anyone else or comparing to a parenting style, just be the best parent you can be each day.
There is not doubt that we can always improve but considering the fact that you are reading articles like this one or trying to continually work on your parenting skills are already proof that you are on the road to being a ‘better’ parent. These kinds of activities show your level of commitment to your relationship with your children, therefore establishing your dedication to them and your parenting role.
The simple rule of parenting is this: take the time to figure out your goals for your parenting journey and spend your energy on making those goals your priority. Don’t stress and waste time trying to be better than someone else. Instead focus on your children and what they need. Next month we will begin a 3-part series on the 3 main elements that will help you be able to focus on your child needs. This will ultimately make you a ‘better parent’ as you will be spending your energy on your relationship with them instead of what the world thinks of you.
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