Temper Tantrum Fear:

Temper Tantrum Fear:

All children will throw a temper tantrum, with the exception of those that are abused.  It is not right, but it is one of the many things we as parents need to teach our children not to do. Like picking your nose in public, or not swearing.

By the time I had read this article, there were over 90 thousand views. Dear Mom of the Tantruming Toddler in Target. Why was it so popular; because as parents we have all been there and we have hoped that those looking on were sympathetic, not judgmental.

I realized from the numerous comments at the bottom of this article that the majority of the parents agreed with the author and think we should all be patient and kind to those parents who are dealing with a child that is throwing a temper tantrum, and I agree. I applaud the author as she is taking a stand and saying, hey we have all been there, so don’t judge.

For those of you that say you haven’t ever had a child misbehaves in public, I say you must be blessed to have been born with the baby Jesus as He is the only child I know that was born perfect. The rest of us have all had children that needed to be taught how to behave and when. We learned from our parents through discipline and/or consequences what was acceptable and what wasn’t and we are now responsible to teach our children.

The article doesn’t let us know if the parent tried to do anything to stop the temper tantrum or if they just simply decided to leave without addressing the issue of the child’s behavior.

As parents, we are hesitant to discipline or give a consequence in public, in fear someone will report us. I have heard many parents complain about the fact that our children have become the ‘me’ generation. By allowing this kind of behavior without any consequence, we the parents have been the reason for this generational attitude.  We are supposed to teach our children right from wrong, what is acceptable and when. We don’t need to agree on how the child should be taught, but we should all agree that something should be taught.

If you are in control when you discipline and do not lose your temper, handling the situation rationally, we should not have the fear of being reported to Childrens Aid. If we see a parent working to teach their child in a public setting and someone comes up and starts to say something to that parent in a condemning way, let’s stand up for the parent. Let’s not be a hindrance to other parents while they are doing their job of raising their children to be well behaved, respectful individuals. And let’s all remember that it will take time, so be patient with a parent who is trying their best.

We are all different and think differently about the best way to discipline. I know for me there are times I think perhaps I can do better than my parents and I will try a different parenting style. At other times I think ‘I turned out pretty good’ so then I try some of the methods my parents used.  As human beings, we are prone to think about what we would do in any given situation. Unfortunately, we judge when someone is handling the situation different than we would.  We think we have a better or ‘the’ perfect answer, and maybe you do, so let’s find out.

If you have ever had to deal with a child throwing a temper tantrum in a public place, what did you do and did it work? Whether you  agree or disagree with previous comments is not the issue…..so no judgments, just helpful tips and or suggestion.

Check out this video on  Discipline Vr Punishment Vr Correction

Or this one on How to Shape the Will, Without Destroying the Spirit

Click here to take our Parenting Quiz to find out what kind of parent you are.

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Dads: Be a Prince Charming for your daughter

Dads: Be a Prince Charming for your daughter

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Dad’s you could do this and make your little princess feel so special. She would never forget it, and you would be her prince charming forever.

Our children need their dad’s. The role models in their lives that will teach them how to be a man, or how to be treated by a man.

Never underestimate the role of a father.

They are our heroes, our prince charming, protector, breadwinner, grass cutter, project maker, and so much more.

Yes, mom’s can and do all of those things too, but not like a dad.

Please check out this link called Daughters without Father/ Son’s without Mothers 

Developing Independent Thinkers

Developing Independent Thinkers

If your children don’t agree with you about how you do things or how you think, don’t panic. Your children deserve a right to have their own opinion.

As a parent, you have a right to have a strong belief in something and to teach your children why you believe what you believe. What you don’t have a right to do is force your beliefs on anyone, including your children.  If what you believe is right and true your children will probably see it when they are older and come back to it, if, for any reason, they strayed away. Especially if you have allowed them to be an independent thinker instead of trying to insist they think like you do.

You should give your children the right to have a difference of opinion without feeling judgment from you.  While my children were growing up I would stop what I was doing if they decided they wanted to talk about anything.  I would take the time to always answer their questions. I would do what I could to find out what they thought as well.  This helps develop their independent thinking but it also helps you do know what is going on in their head. This comes in handy in many areas.  And the best part is, your child will learn that their opinion is valued even if you don’t agree with them, which will teach him the best lessons of all.

1. It is okay to think differently, as long as you have thought it through and have a solid reason for what you think.

2. We can all still get along even if we don’t agree.

Even to this day, I have long serious discussions with my adult children regarding issues, and they love to bring up the ones they know we disagree on.  But I love it too.  I love that I have taught them independent thinking.  I do not want them to grow up to be a robot, or another ‘mini-me’.  I true to ensure by asking my own questions back to them that they have solid reasons for believing what they believe and to live according to that.

Offering the door for discussion helps for two reasons.

1. It will show them where you stand on any given subject and why you believe what you do.

2. It will help them solidify where they stand on any given subject and will teach them to understand why they believe what they do.

There is a fine line between a child asking questions out of inquisitiveness or asking questions out of defiance.  What we have to figure out as parents is how to allow them to have a difference of opinion but still respect our house rules an follow them. And so our teaching continues on another level as now we need to teach them to have respect for authority figures even if we don’t agree with them.

However you need to let them know you understand what they are stating, and although you don’t agree with their opinion,  don’t put them down for having a different way of thinking.  I always finished these kinds of discussions by explaining that as soon as they move out, they can do what they wish because then they will be paying for their own place and can make their own rules. Until then, they must obey your house rules as I am paying.

We have to be accountable for what we believe and do by letting our yes’s be yes and our no’s be no. We should not be wishy washy. If you have given serious consideration to what you are doing and why, and are willing to share your reasons, you have shown to your children by example how to do the same.

Teaching your children to be solid in what they think and why is one of the best ways to help them become the best they can be.

Judging those that might not agree with you or how they do things, whether that is your children or not, makes you the person that is in the position where you need to say to yourself….’judge not lest I be judged’.

Parenting a model, is it worth it?

Parenting a model, is it worth it?

Parenting a child model. is it worth it? What are the end goals in doing this?

Is it all as glamours as it looks, having your child’s pictures in the most famous commercials or magazines working for the best companies in the marketing industry.

I interviewed a few so I could give you an in-depth look at the pro’s and cons of having children in the modeling industry.

The common thread with each of these parents is the amount of commitment THEY had to help their child get success. I am not saying they forced it, they didn’t.  Many have other children in the family that are not interested in doing this and they didn’t push it at all. In fact, some of them seemed to be grateful the other children were not interested.  But most loved the excitement and being with their children through every step of the process. None I interviewed gave me the impression that they were doing this to get fame for themselves or their child.  In fact, most were doing it to help improve the funds for their child’s education.

Below are some questions I asked and the answers given:

If you had to do it all over again, would you? :
Answer: I would have actually started earlier! The reason is that a lot of work goes by clothing size breakdown, and not as much work seems to be available for them at 12 months. So I would have loved to have started him as a baby where more opportunities would have been.
What is your biggest struggle?
Answer: The biggest struggle we face is, of course, judgmental people.  We do get some people who can be non-supportive. We plan to instill in our child that it’s okay to be different and have different talents and hobbies than other children and to never be ashamed of his success.
Did someone approach you on this or did you go looking for this?
The answer was split pretty evenly. Some parents were approached by a modeling agency, some other parents went looking for a good agency.
How many hours a week do this work?  
Answer: It varies. Because the travel is so extensive we sometimes go twice or three times a week, and not at all the next.

Some pro’s and con’s based on these parents experience:

Pros:

  • Money,  securing a start on the child’s college fund. Every little bit helps!
  • It helps children learn about confidence, as well as rejection. The children have to learn that there is a chance they may or may not get the job. They have to go planning on having fun and making possible friends so regardless if they get the job or not there is some good come from it.
  • Opportunity!  So many amazing opportunities can come for a child in this business, from modeling to TV/Film and even Broadway!

Cons:

  • Time commitment; to be a parent in this industry you absolutely have to be available for auditions or bookings last minute, sometimes even the same day!
  • Rejection;  you and your child have to be okay with knowing they won’t book every single job they audition for.
  • Sacrificing; you sometimes have to make sacrifices or cancel previous plans because you just got an audition. 99% of the time your agent/manager expects you to be available for opportunities they give you, big or small.

Do you have a final piece of advice? If a parent wants to get their child into this industry, I would recommend researching reputable agents thoroughly. You always want to be sure to meet with a few and see which one is the right fit for you and your child. Ask questions you may have, take notes to compare each.

Finally, If any agent or manager asks for fees upfront, run. I cannot stress enough to research every agent or manager you plan to meet with. You should never have to pay any fees to start your child in this business.

Want to know what kind of parent you are, take this Parenting Quiz

Pro’s and con’s of Working from Home and parenting.

ADHD: Feeling bullied into giving your child Medication?

ADHD: Feeling bullied into giving your child Medication?

As a parent, these are the questions you should be asking about the medications if you have discovered your child has ADHD.

  1. How severe is my child and is medication the answer? For some children, the answer is absolutely, yes, for some the answer is no. Improving diet, using natural methods and spending the time to teach them to concentrate is enough.
  2. What are your rights in the school system if you do not put your child on medication?  We all live in different areas; this is one you have to find out for your own particular area.

I wrote an article a short time ago regarding ADHD regarding the struggles both my daughter and I have dealt with in the school system.  My intent is not to say that all children who suffer from any form of ADHD should be handled the same way we chose, as I think every situation needs to be handled individually. If you are in a situation where you have done your research and your specialist says your child is not sever enough to be on medication and you are struggling with feeling bullied to put your child on medication, here is our story.  I hope it gives you the courage to do what you feel is right for you and your child.

The school my grandson was in was insisting that my daughter put her son on medicine as they felt that was the only way to control him enough so he could learn. After many doctor appointments and doing a great deal of research, my daughter came to the conclusion that her son was capable of learning without meds. He is basically a good boy and is not overly disruptive when he was given the proper help and diet. Yes, he was a typical boy in all areas, meaning very active, loved to play outdoors, a bit rough at times. His ADHD did bring that out a bit more. But we did discover that he could concentrate, just not for as long as all other children.

We didn’t expect the school system to work one on one with him. We just expected them to allow him into the class and if he got disruptive to take him out until he could re-enter and do the work that was needed to be done. Repetition of taking him out of the situation until he acted appropriately had been very effective at home, and we were confident it would work at the school as well.

Human’s all learn how to work situations to their favor very quickly and children are no exception to this rule.  My grandson got a bit rough with a child at school and got sent home. Not long after that, it happened again and soon it became a regular occurrence. My daughter kept asking the school to put him on detention in the office, even for the whole day if they needed to. Sending him home was rewarding him and he was not learning the right thing. My daughter was called into the school time after time to attend meetings or to be told she had to pick up her son. This caused her to lose many hours of work as they were refusing to allow her son to stay at the school at all. He was not expelled as he was not truly hurting anyone, but the school didn’t seem to want to deal with this. Even though his mother gave them permission to do whatever was necessary to help him learn his behavior was not acceptable, they refused. Strangely, this all started after my daughter had said no when the school had suggested she put her son on medicine for his ADHD. She informed the school that neither she nor his doctor felt he was sever enough to warrant this course of action.

After calling a district supervisor of our school board I found out that in my area the parents have the final decision if their child should be on medicine and that the parent can insist that the child is left in the school for ‘in school’ suspension rather than be sent home.  My daughter insisted the school take this option because sending him home was rewarding him, which was causing a cycle of bad behavior. Although my grandson is in school all day now, the school is still giving him a hard time and insisting he go directly to the office as soon as he gets to school, without even giving him a chance.  So we need to tend to this issue next.

Please understand I am not saying all schools or all teachers treat children with ADHD in this manner. Nor do I assume they all insist children with ADHD be on medication. I have had a lot of teachers who taught my child with ADHD and did a great job with him. They didn’t make me feel bullied for not putting him on medication and I appreciated them so much. This allowed me to know that the doctors and I were right and that my son could effectively learn if the teacher was willing to help us.

Upon asking some personal friends who are higher up in the school board system their opinion here is what they had to say: There are more children on medication then needs to be. It is possible the parents are feeling pressured into putting their child on medication, and they strongly suggest that parents do all they can to get the right information for their child and not to assume that ADHD = medicine.

My daughter and I both felt bullied and had a fight on our hands because we didn’t put our children on medicine by both the school system and the teacher. I felt huge ridicule from my first article on ADHD from the readers assuming I didn’t know what I was talking about, stating that ‘if I did I would not have made my son or my grandson go without medicine‘.

If you feel like I am judging you or what you do with your family in this area, then you have not heard what I am really saying here or in my last article. Let me state my point very clearly:

  • There are some people out there that put their child on medication because it makes their child easier to deal with.
  • There are some that don’t put their child on medication because they don’t believe in medication of any kind.
  • I do not fall into either of those categories.

If after you have researched ADHD including: what the benefits and/or side effect to either taking or not taking medicine are; if a specialist in this field (not a family doctor) has given you their recommendation; then you need to do what you feel is right for your child.  I don’t know your situation so I have no right to judge you or your decision.  If you feel that medicine is what is needed for your child to learn and grow in the proper way, then please do not let anyone pressure you into doing anything other than what you feel is right for your child. Extend the same courtesy to those of us that have also done all our research and do not feel our children need to put on medicine.

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