With women now being able to be firefighters, mechanics or doctors, men, stay-at-home dads, secretaries or nurses, our gender issues need not be confusing to our children.
Parents need to provide for our families and we have come to the place in our society where we do not let ourselves get bogged down with who is making the money or who is making more. The flip side to this though is that it does make it much more important for us to be ensuring we are defining our gender roles so we can help our children to identify with who they are.
A daughter is always a Princess and you cannot be a Princess without a Prince. A son is always a Prince but not if there is no fair maiden. Our children need both moms and dads to fulfill the need in them to be what they were designed for. Girls like to be protected and boys like to protect. Girls like to *nurture and boys love to be nurtured. These things are established early on in a child. First, by the example they see their parents give to each other and then by the individual attention the parents give to them, therefore helping them to develop those natural instinctive tendencies.
A daughter deserves to have her dad be her prince, to protect her and guide her along, to make her feel like a treasured female and he has to continue to do this until her lifemate comes along. When he does that job well the daughter then knows exactly the type of man to go for. She will learn to look for someone that will not use his strength to abuse her but instead to embraces her.
A son deserves to have his mom be someone who is a princess and treasures the love he gives. If a mom handles this correctly she will teach her son that strength and power are to be used for her not against her. This will teach him to find a soulmate who will treasure him and love the fact that he would do anything for her without using that knowledge to try and control him. For many children today they do not have that prince and/or princess in their life. This is both sad and unnecessary in most cases.
A mother’s role is one of the most crucial elements in any child’s life, but I believe a father’s role is just as equally important. Both are needed to help establish healthy self-awareness and self-esteem in a child. For the record, a parent does not necessarily have to be biological to be a role model and be extremely important to a child’s life. There is no magic solution to help our children be stable and mentally healthy in everything in life, but our goal as parents is to try and make life and life issues as easy as possible for them.
Any child who has only a mom or a dad in their life is missing out on what they will need to help round them out to be balanced in their thinking and in their self-esteem. In this very controversial day, we live in regarding who can marry who and what we all think about that, have any of us stopped to consider what we are doing to our children. Without both a strong male and female role in a child’s life, they will not learn some critical things to help them to be balanced individuals. Thinking that either sex can do everything the other sex can and, therefore, believing they can do it all for their child is a very selfish way to raise a child.
If you were a daughter, you loved having a father in your life because a dad always made you feel protected and like a princess. If a mom tries to allow the daughter to be a princess, it turns into a prima donna concern more than feeling treasured. A son needs to feel the love and nurturing of his mom, someone who will love him no matter what. When a father tries to make a son feel nurtured it comes across as if the dad feels the son is weak.
A daughter needs to learn how taking care of those you love is what will hold relationships together and they can only learn that from watching their mom ‘tend’ to the family. Although this does not mean she does all the housework, cooking and such, she is still usually the one that ensures it all gets done. This shows the daughter the strength they possess and a wise woman will teach her daughter how not to misuse it.
A son needs a dad to show him how to protect and love by watching him do so with those he loves. They also need the approval of their father to establish the male role in which he will grow into. That approval will allow him to know his worth as a man, father, protector and this will help him establish this so it will be what he will give to his partner and then children as he grows older.
Having both parents in a home is ideal but not necessary to establish these important elements in a child’s life. With so many single parents out there trying to be both father and mother, making a living and trying to do all the chores that need to be done in the home, you don’t need any more guilt laid on you and that is not my intent of my article. As long as there are strong male and/or female role models in the child’s life it will be sufficient enough for them to see and live by. Aunts, uncles, grandparents and/or great friends who are willing to see the value of being a role model to a child. Look for people who understand a child is well worth the effort and by surrounding yourself with these kinds of people your child will become a well-adjusted, balanced adult.
Footnote: Due to negative reactions that are caused when we use the word nurture here is the definition of this word. *Nurture: (noun) the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something.