You don’t want to gain extra weight, making you uncertain if you want that piece of cheesecake. You know you will not sleep if you have a cup of coffee after dinner. If you are indecisive when asked if you want either of these, and it is set in front of you and you eat and drink it, who’s at fault if you are awake all night because you drank that caffeine.
When trying to teach our kids about consent the best way we can do that is by example. Learn to be definitive in your answers so that when someone asks if you want another Cup of coffee you need to be clear and say, ‘no thank you’, and not be vague.
By giving those precise answers: they don’t have to figure out what it is we need or want.
We have to take ownership of the fact that we may have gained a few extra pounds or couldn’t sleep that night and show our children our answers reflex why we don’t want that coffee or cheesecake.
When training our teenage children, both male and female about consent we need to make sure that we teach our children to not only understand that consent is only when someone says yes, but they need to understand that they need to be concise with their answers. Emphasizing in your everyday examples, that yes means yes and no means no.
Teaching our children to walk away from a situation where someone is vague is the best way to protect them from getting into trouble, but we also need to teach our children to not be the type that is vague as many others will not be taught to walk away.
In no way is it ever ok for someone to take advantage of someone. Consent is ONLY when someone says yes, and we need to ensure our children learn this fact. However, we need to teach our kids to take ownership of their answers. That they need to be precise when being asked something and if they are agreeing to something they need to say yes and if they are not sure they need to say no.
Enjoy the Journey
Embrace the Learning
Parent With Purpose
If you think Domestic Human Trafficking is similar to the movie ‘Taken’, you would be wrong.
In Canada, your next door neighbour could be someone that lives at home with their parents, but are being human trafficked. What is scary is that they might not even know that is what is happening to them.
I know, because my daughter was human trafficked. It took her 8 years to find out that was what had happened to her.
Please do not stick your head in the sand and think this can’t happen to you or your children.
Anyone can be a target.
Educate yourself on this and learn all you can about how to protect your kids.
Watch this video to learn how to protect your kids.
The crew and cast
Art Direction and production: Public Office.
As a mom of a victim to Human Trafficking I was asked to give some very quick tips on prevention to parents.
I will be doing a full video soon on the full story which will give you more insight and understanding on what Domestic Human Trafficking really is along with more tips on how to help preven this from happening to your children.
Meanwhile please come and check out some other videos that will be helpful. The first one is ‘Debunking the Myths about Human Trafficking’
The second is my daughters story done interview style.
As a certified family coach, I am often asked “what can I do to be a better parent?”
Although I believe there are 3 main elements that can ‘help’ you be a better parent, the bigger issue that needs to be addressed here is: ‘better than what? Better than your parents were to you? Better than the parents next door? Better than the newest parenting style? Better than your recent self?
Comparisons only tear people down and puts our energy into the wrong things. Here is an example. I didn’t want to be a parent who yelled because I grew up with one who yelled quite a bit. As a child that made me very uncomfortable. I wasted my energy trying not to yell instead of using that energy trying to calmly figure out ‘what’ the cause of my frustration might be and coming up with a better solution. Instead of comparing your parenting skills to anyone else or comparing to a parenting style, just be the best parent you can be each day.
There is not doubt that we can always improve but considering the fact that you are reading articles like this one or trying to continually work on your parenting skills are already proof that you are on the road to being a ‘better’ parent. These kinds of activities show your level of commitment to your relationship with your children, therefore establishing your dedication to them and your parenting role.
The simple rule of parenting is this: take the time to figure out your goals for your parenting journey and spend your energy on making those goals your priority. Don’t stress and waste time trying to be better than someone else. Instead focus on your children and what they need. Next month we will begin a 3-part series on the 3 main elements that will help you be able to focus on your child needs. This will ultimately make you a ‘better parent’ as you will be spending your energy on your relationship with them instead of what the world thinks of you.
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You grab a bat, head to home plate, place your feet exactly where they need to be, practice swinging a couple of times to warm up and expect to hit the ball. You anticipate hitting a home run but when you don’t even get a ground ball, you wonder what went wrong. It looks so easy.
The same is true about parenting. You think you will do great and like the rest of us you start by thinking ‘Parenting isn’t that hard, right’? But then your child starts to cry for no reason at all, or you see a hurt look in their eye from something you said, or you get a call from the school asking you to come and pick up your kid. You start realizing you’re not as good as you thought you would be, and you feel like a failure.
True failure is when you don’t learn from your mistakes and just keep doing the same things the wrong way all the time. Just like in sports, you will need to ‘practice’ and miss a few balls before you will learn to start hitting a home run.
As we all learn from our mistakes more than we learn from our success I want to encourage you to not get give up. Instead, keep trying your best, get advice from experts, talk to other parenting friends, swap ideas, read articles or go for coaching. You are not alone in this, it is universal and one day you will look back and say, ‘phew, that was tough, but it was so worth it’.
Stay tuned over the next couple of months as I will be sharing the top 3 things, I think parents need to do to have success in their parenting journey. Come check us out at parentwithpurpose.ca for tips and family coaching. Lynda Harlos Certified Family Coach, vlogger and author
Do you like metaphors, Well I think parenting is like baseball.
Check out other parenting videos on my youtube channel
You have said it and heard others say it a million times.
“Parenting would be so much easier if our kids came with a manual’.
But stop and think about that statement and tell me, what would have learned if they did come with a manual?
We need to discover who are children are, what makes them tick, what causes them joy and or pain.
We need to learn that all kids are not the same. They all think differently, they all learn differently, and they all need different things from us as their parents.
Discovering who your child is: what makes them tick, what makes them happy or sad, is the biggest job and best job in the world. If we had a manual, it would take most of the learning out of the equation.
Now, what fun would that be?