[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”no” equal_height_columns=”no” menu_anchor=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_position=”center center” background_repeat=”no-repeat” fade=”no” background_parallax=”none” parallax_speed=”0.3″ video_mp4=”” video_webm=”” video_ogv=”” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_loop=”yes” video_mute=”yes” overlay_color=”” video_preview_image=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” padding_top=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” padding_right=””][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ layout=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” border_position=”all” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” center_content=”no” last=”no” min_height=”” hover_type=”none” link=””][fusion_text]

If your children don’t agree with you about how you do things or how you think, don’t panic. Your children deserve a right to have their own opinion.

As a parent, you have a right to have a strong belief in something and to teach your children why you believe what you believe. What you don’t have a right to do is force your beliefs on anyone, including your children.  If what you believe is right and true your children will probably see it when they are older and come back to it, if, for any reason, they strayed away. Especially if you have allowed them to be an independent thinker instead of trying to insist they think like you do.

You should give your children the right to have a difference of opinion without feeling judgment from you.  While my children were growing up I would stop what I was doing if they decided they wanted to talk about anything.  I would take the time to always answer their questions. I would do what I could to find out what they thought as well.  This helps develop their independent thinking but it also helps you do know what is going on in their head. This comes in handy in many areas.  And the best part is, your child will learn that their opinion is valued even if you don’t agree with them, which will teach him the best lessons of all.

1. It is okay to think differently, as long as you have thought it through and have a solid reason for what you think.

2. We can all still get along even if we don’t agree.

Even to this day, I have long serious discussions with my adult children regarding issues, and they love to bring up the ones they know we disagree on.  But I love it too.  I love that I have taught them independent thinking.  I do not want them to grow up to be a robot, or another ‘mini-me’.  I true to ensure by asking my own questions back to them that they have solid reasons for believing what they believe and to live according to that.

Offering the door for discussion helps for two reasons.

1. It will show them where you stand on any given subject and why you believe what you do.

2. It will help them solidify where they stand on any given subject and will teach them to understand why they believe what they do.

There is a fine line between a child asking questions out of inquisitiveness or asking questions out of defiance.  What we have to figure out as parents is how to allow them to have a difference of opinion but still respect our house rules an follow them. And so our teaching continues on another level as now we need to teach them to have respect for authority figures even if we don’t agree with them.

However you need to let them know you understand what they are stating, and although you don’t agree with their opinion,  don’t put them down for having a different way of thinking.  I always finished these kinds of discussions by explaining that as soon as they move out, they can do what they wish because then they will be paying for their own place and can make their own rules. Until then, they must obey your house rules as I am paying.

We have to be accountable for what we believe and do by letting our yes’s be yes and our no’s be no. We should not be wishy washy. If you have given serious consideration to what you are doing and why, and are willing to share your reasons, you have shown to your children by example how to do the same.

Teaching your children to be solid in what they think and why is one of the best ways to help them become the best they can be.

Judging those that might not agree with you or how they do things, whether that is your children or not, makes you the person that is in the position where you need to say to yourself….’judge not lest I be judged’.