I remember as a child asking “Why” I had to do something and getting the typical “Because I said so” reply.  Because of that, I had decided early on that I would only use that phrase when I had already explained my reasons for doing something. My thought process is that this would be better than never having anything ever explained which just made me feel like I was a nuisance for wanting to understand something.

When a parent or anyone in authority says “because I say so”, without giving an explanation, they are in essence saying, “I am the parent, you are the child and you do not need to know the reason why”. That is not a way to encourage learning and growth. However, if you have already given a reason as to why you have a certain set of instruction and the child continues to question you then this shows a lack of respect and does need to be addressed as well.

By answering the question with your reason, just once and then saying “Because I am the parent and I said so” gives the impression that their question is important, however, even if you do not like the answer or my reason, it is the way it will be.

After years of struggling with this, I also realized that sometimes the children are asking because they don’t understand the answer, not always because they are questioning my reasoning.  So the lesson learned was to understand why the child is asking the question again.

You will find this is a common thread throughout life.  Not just of your children but of all people. What we think is the reason someone may be asking something, or questioning you on something, might not be to question you or your answer.  It’s also not to be a pain in the butt and see how far they can take it.

It is possible that the first time you explained, it was explained in a way they didn’t understand.

Therefore you need to then ask the questionWhy are you asking me this again?’