My Challenge to Parents
Dealing with Guilt as a Parent


Intro to: The Five Stages of raising children:
Stage 1. Pregnancy (part A)
Stage 1. Birth (part B)
Stage 2. Infancy & Preschool

‘It’ might happen during pregnancy or ‘it’ might happen when your children are teens, but we all get there eventually. ‘It’ is that feeling that as a parent you are a failure and the fear that you have screwed up your children so badly you are not sure if they will survive.

You are feeling as lost and confused as the rest of us did when we started this journey called ‘parenting’ and like the rest of us you probably thought you had it all ‘figured’ out, and then you had kids and they proved you wrong.  It sucks, but it is the truth.

I woke up in my forties and wondered how did my life become this messed up.

I was the child that understood at an early age that you reaped what you sowed and so if I was a good person, worked hard, make right choices my life would be simple.  So, what happened?

Why was I now living with:

  • A daughter who stole and lied all the time constantly sneaking off to parties and cutting herself
  • A son who became a drug addict and got suspended from school, not once but twice for different things
  • Another child that is extremely judgemental and one that likes to argue with me about anything and everything whenever he can.
  • having to deal with a teenage daughter getting raped and pregnant
  • a child that seemed to be making good choices but end up with juvenile diabetes?

What happened to my understanding that I was in control of my own destiny. That by making amazing choices I would have an easy life.

The simple answer is: I had kids. The more complicated answer is they have a will of their own and the choices they made ultimately effected each one of us in different ways, ways we had no idea of at the time.

Don’t get me wrong I am not sorry I had kids but I learned that just because I worked hard to make good choices doesn’t mean my children will and if I didn’t learn some of the those hard to learn lessons due to my own choices, I would certainly learn them one way or the other.  With the biggest lesson being that you cannot be perfect nor live the perfect life no matter what.

The judgments I had of other parents and believing that I had the answers on how to be the perfect parent, before I even had children, ended up being precisely the things I had to go through to learn that I really did not know what I was talking about. Hence coming full circle and making me realize that there is no such thing as a perfect parent.

This parenting guide will show you the stages of a child’s life and the parenting journey you are now on and will give you some possible suggestions to help in each of them.  I don’t have all the answers, but this guide will give you at least some idea of what to expect in each stage, as well as a glimpse into our struggles as parents and how we coped, or not in each of these stages.

By bearing my soul and showing you all of our mistakes and occasional victories, I am hoping that I give you an amazing gift that will help you understand that if we can screw it up this badly and still have amazing adult children at the end of all of this, you have a better chance of having amazing kids too.

Just know, you are not alone in your struggles.

The greatest news is, no matter what you are going through in this ‘parenting journey’ it is all worth it.

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