I woke up in my forties and wondered how did my life become this messed up.
I was the child that understood at an early age that you reaped what you sowed and so if I was a good person, worked hard, make right choices my life would be simple. So, what happened?
Why was I now living with:
- A daughter who stole and lied all the time constantly sneaking off to parties and cutting herself
- A son who became a drug addict and got suspended from school, not once but twice for different things
- Another child that is extremely judgemental and one that likes to argue with me about anything and everything whenever he can.
- having to deal with a teenage daughter getting raped and pregnant
- a child that seemed to be making good choices but end up with juvenile diabetes?
What happened to my understanding that I was in control of my own destiny. That by making amazing choices I would have an easy life.
The simple answer is: I had kids. The more complicated answer is they have a will of their own and the choices they made ultimately effected each one of us in different ways, ways we had no idea of at the time.
Don’t get me wrong I am not sorry I had kids but I learned that just because I worked hard to make good choices doesn’t mean my children will and if I didn’t learn some of the those hard to learn lessons due to my own choices, I would certainly learn them one way or the other. With the biggest lesson being that you cannot be perfect nor live the perfect life no matter what.
The judgments I had of other parents and believing that I had the answers on how to be the perfect parent, before I even had children, ended up being precisely the things I had to go through to learn that I really did not know what I was talking about. Hence coming full circle and making me realize that there is no such thing as a perfect parent.
To view the next chapter: Purpose of having Children click here.