We have heard this expression many times before and upon researching the subject I found this quote. “If you do not expect the unexpected, you will not find it.“
Whoever said this was either not a parent or clearly was not talking about parenting.
I have found that with children, you don’t have to seek, ‘the unexpected’ will hit you in the face when you least expect it. What will hit you in the face you ask? The short answer is “Life”.
Your children will:
- tell you things
- do things
- become things you didn’t expect.
That is not always bad. Sometimes the unexpected is a good thing. My one daughter became a full-time house cleaner/ part-time model and marketing rep/ student in college all while being a single mom. This is the same child I could not get to clean her room. That was unexpected.
The expression “If you do not expect the unexpected, you will not find it,” is actually a great parenting goal.
I have always challenged my children to be more, which is what that expression is supposed to mean. When I saw a potential in them that they didn’t see, I would point it out. This same daughter was exceptionally good at doing a quick fast clean up of the whole house. Especially if she was wanting something in return.
This is actually a 3 part lesson:
- Noticing that she did a great job at the quick clean up was the most important thing to help build up her self-esteem and to point out her skill of cleaning.
- Pointing out later that I knew why she did that helped keep her humble enough to know she hadn’t outwitted me.
- Being willing to allow the whole thing to play out was my unexpected. I tend to be the type that likes to ‘fix’ things now, and so for me to allow this to play out without saying anything to her until much later when the subject came up again was a lesson was hard for me, but, mission accomplished!
Upcoming post for your survivor fans that are also parents: ‘outwit, outplay, outlast‘ your children.
*http://www.cutedaily.com/baby-surprise/