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How important is it to have Family Time?
There was a young mom who posted a question regarding time spent alone at home. She was frustrated with the fact that every weekend they have to go to their friends place instead of staying at home enjoying ‘the family unit’.
I have to say that I am impressed if staying at home and spending time with the family unit is a goal of yours. There are so few people who really understand the value of that today. We are a very ‘high paced’, ‘where can we go next’, ‘what can we do next’ society that we have lost the art of being a family.
Let me suggest that first, that family time is extremely important. As a family, we had movie night every Friday night. Because of my husbands and my work schedule, we both could not always make it, and very rarely did both of us have to work and cancel it altogether. So if only one of us make it the family knew we would have a family night. On the rare occasion if both my husband and I couldn’t make it the 4 children would do their own movie night. I can say my heart melted those nights.
But this established the fact that family was very important to them. Working from home most of the time my children were growing up, they saw me put work aside for them to come and have a movie night. That was very huge for them. They knew I was dedicated to my jobs but they also learned that I valued them and our time together.
I had a nephew that told me about his movie night with his family and his face was beaming when he explained it to me assuming that I didn’t know what he was talking about it. I felt such pride knowing that his mom, my sister, was displaying this same value with her own family.
How important is it for you to be right? Or to be strict? Or to be the one who always wins? How important do you think it is for your children.
Do you have one that is super stubborn, or rebellious? Any idea why? Watch this Video “Does being a Stubborn Parent make Rebellious children?
Want to find out what kind of parent you are, and or ways to improve? Take this Parenting Quiz.
*http://osl-ptl.org/?page_id=76
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What is your bedtime ritual?
Whispered words of love exchanged while little arms are wrapped around our necks are the best thing in the world for any parent. Physical touch is extremely important to all humans. It is a proven fact that children who are raised with more physical touch tend to be more loving adults. But as in all things in life, there is a time and place for this.
The question begs to be asked if bedtime is one of those times. Are you doing what is best for your child by letting them sleep with you? There are many different theories to this debate now and I am not sure if there is one answer that will suit everyone. If you have been a parent for a while now you will begin to know that there is no such thing as THE RIGHT answer for everyone. Our job as parents is to ensure we use wisdom in the choices we make for ourselves and our families.
There is so much on the market saying that co-sleeping is the way to go, I want to give you a couple of things to think about to see if this is really the right choice for you. Back in the day, there were many who did not allow babies to sleep with them because they were taught that they might roll on them and suffocate them. I know that is up for debate now but there is more to this topic than just that. There are two basic ‘side effects’ that I rarely see discussed when this topic comes up that I think you should at least consider when trying to decide if co-sleeping is a good choice.
First: Snuggling your child every night until they fall asleep and/or allowing them to stay in your bed might cause them to become dependent on you for a basic lesson in life they should learn to do on their own. I completely believe our children will need comforting at many different times in their lives and even occasionally while they are struggling to go to sleep. However, we need to stop to think about the full ramification to our children’s lives if we make the decision to let them sleep with us on a regular basis.
Here are a couple of questions you need to ask yourself and try to be honest as it might help you decide what is truly best for you and your children not just at the moment but for the long term as well.
1. Are you doing this for the child’s benefit or yours?
2. Are you alone at night and is it you that wants someone to snuggle with?
3. Do you find it easier to just let them sleep with you rather than have a possible fight at bedtime?
I believe you need to consider if your child sleeps with you, will it hinder what they will need to learn at this age? This could cause them to struggle with falling asleep quickly and/or for an extended amount of time unless someone else is there. This could hinder them enjoying many things in their lives like sleepovers, camps or school trips. It could cause great anxiety when they are not with people as they will not have learned how to overcome fear without the arms of someone around them all night. Please do not misunderstand me, I am not suggesting that you not comfort your child. You should go in and snuggle your child if they are having bad dreams or are afraid in the night. You just might want to reconsider if it should be made into a permanent comfort. If our children end up needing the comfort of sleeping with someone at all times and they get married, do they have this person in their life just to have that comfort because that is what they need instead of waiting for someone who will fulfill them in every area of life?
Second, by allowing children into your marriage bed, you are taking time away from your spouse. Time, where you and your spouse can be intimate, and or have a private conversation. In our ever busy lives and in a world where marriages come and go so quickly I think it is important now more than ever that we do what is necessary to save our marriages. Not that my husband and I did everything right, because we most certainly didn’t, but the one main thing I think we did do right was to keep our marriage bed sacred. Not saying our children could never spend time with us on our bed as there were many wonderful times when we had them with us sharing stores, cuddling with us, or just telling us their days events. However, when it was bedtime they went to their own bed. My husband and I didn’t even want a phone or t.v. in our room to distract us from each other. It was very comforting to me to know that I was the only thing that had my husbands attention when our door was closed.
Snuggling, hugging and loving on your children is one of the most important things we can do for our children. Let’s ensure our children know we love them and will comfort them when they need it, but let’s also teach them that your relationship with our spouses is extremely important as well.*https://www.pinterest.com/cindy62kane/quotes-about-children/
Watch this video on Traveling with Kids
And this one on Gender Identity
Check out FREE chapters in my Parenting book ‘I was the Perfect Parent…then I had kids’
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